Al and Will Learn Spanish
by sadnesseggxxx
Summary: Title says everything. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

Tris was walking around being useless when she heard whispers in a language she didn't understand.

"Ella ni siquiera sabe lo difícil que lo hicimos anoche. Podemos hacer todo lo que un secreto hablando en español!"

"Sí. El español es una lengua muerta aquí . ¿Quieres ir de nuevo, Al?"

"Oh si!"

Al and... Will? Speaking some sort of secret code? Tris screamed. "Illuminati!"

They must not have heard her because they kept talking.

"Justo ahí! Si!"

"Más Rápido!"

Then Tris walked into the room Al and Will were in, saw them fucking like dogs, and ran away screaming.

"CHRISTINA!"

"wut"

"Will and Al are in the ILLUMINATI!"

"OH NO! wait how do you know this"

"THEY WERE HAVING SEX AND TALKING IN A SATANIC LANGUAGE."

"WILL! GET OUT HERE!"

Will walked out with a giant horse dildo lodged in his asshole.

"what."

"YOU WHORE GET BACK IN MY VAGINA!"

Will screamed. "BUT YOURE ON YOUR PERIOD"

"I DONT CARE GET IN MY VAGINA WILL"

Will got into Christina's big fat black pussy.

"LO QUE UNA PERRA" WILL CRIED

Turns out the giant horse dildo was actually Al's amputated penis. Al walked back out of the room, sewed his penis back on, and pulled out of Will.

"Al get your ugly fat womanpenis inside of me" christina screeched

"I IDENTIFY AS A $25 WALGREENS GIFT CARD!"

"ew"

Then Eric walked out.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL SPEAKING SPANISH AND HAVING AN ORGY AND WHY IS WILL'S HEAD STICKING OUT OF YOUR VAGINA?"

PETER STABBED EVERYONE TO DEATH WITH A BUTTER KNIFE.

"SHUTTTT UUPPPPP!"


	2. Chapter 2

Al, Will, Christina, Tris, and Eric went to heaven as Peter cannibalized and raped their bodies.

"welcome to heaven." god said. "now its time for me to judge you. eric."

"NO!" ERIC SHOUTED, AND TOOK THE TILDE KEY OFF OF GOD'S KEYBOARD AND ATE IT.

"WHAT!" GOD SCREAMED. HE EXPLODED. THE TILDE CONTAINED HIS LIFE FORCE. NOW THERE WAS NO GOD.

"wow nice going eric." christina said, her big black pussy squirting period all over will. he cried loudly.

SATAN POPPED OUT AND SHOVED ERIC UP HIS ASS BEFORE GOING BACK TO HELLLLLLL

Suddenly...

TRIS GOT HER PERIOD!

"Ustedes son los amigos menstruales!" Al screamed, running away in fright. Will followed. They hid under a torn up angel robe.

"Tenemos que esconder de los amigos menstruales o nos tanto mataremos!"

"Vamos a seguir adelante. Entonces ellos se escapan en el miedo. Porque somos demasiado sexy!"

"Will, es una gran idea!"

So then they started to have torrid, rough BDSM sex, screaming as loudly as possible to attract the menstrual pals.

"WILL! AL! COME SUCK MY TAMPONS!" TRIS SCREAMED

THEN SHE LIFTED UP THE ROBE.

"oh no! will and al are having bdsm sex!" THEN SHE STOLE ALL THE BLINDFOLDS AND PADS.

"Oh no robó todas nuestras pastillas!" Will screamed. "WE NEED THOSE FOR THE YAOI!"

"ATTACK!" AL SHOUTED. THEN THEY POUNCED ONTO THE MENSTRUAL PALS.

"WE NEED TO RUN, TRIS!" THEY BOTH RAN AWAY, BLOOD SPURTING BEHIND THEM. AL DECIDED TO JACK OFF INSTEAD OF PURSUING THE MENSTRUAL PALS.

"Me rindo, Al. Vamos a tener relaciones sexuales por el resto de la eternidad!"

"yES!"

THEN AL AND WILL FLEW BACK TO EARTH, FOLLOWED BY CHRISTINA AND TRIS.


	3. Chapter 3

so then they reached the dauntless compound again.

"hmm. so christina. what do you want to do first. since we're ghosts now."

"rape peter and drew."

"GOOD IDEA"

tris and christina flew away and raped peter and drew as they slept.

"OH MY GOD TRIS. STOP RAPING US. ALSO WHY ARE YOU TRANSPARENT" peter screamed.

"i smoked too much weed today" drew said

"DREW YOU HAVE WEED? CAN WE HAVE SOME!1" will screamed, running into the dormitory.

"ok. just dont give it to the cops." drew handed will his weed.

"YAY!" will screamed. he and al smoked all of it and got high.

"Tan bueno..."

"Sí..."

"Estamos tan al horno..."

"Sí..."

THEN TRIS AND CHRISTINA CAME IN.

"Will, wE NEED TO GET BACK TOGETHER."

"I would, Christina, but I AM PREGNANT WITH AL'S BABY."

"WHAT" AL SCREAMED "IS THAT EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE"

"yes" will said. then he hovered away.

"christina i think they're both high." tris said.


	4. Chapter 4

"christina i cant believe al got will pregnant!" tris said

"i know right. like who would sleep with al. he's a fatass." christina said very loudly.

"I HEARD THAT!" al screamed. then he threw a condom filled with pudding at christina

then molly walked out. she had cum dripping from her mouth.

"wuts going on."

"why do you have cum on your lips molly" tris said.

then will popped out of a random window. "La vimos sopla Peter!" then he ran away.

"MOLLY STOP BEING A FUCKIN SLUT." christina screamed.

"I CONTROL MY OWN DECISIONS YOU FAT WHORE CHRISTINA. IM GOING TO GO PEG FOUR FOR A FEW HOURS NOW LOL BYE TRIS BYE CHRISTINA."

"wow i hate molly." tris grunted.

"lets go check on will."

"ok fine christina"

so they went to check on will. al sat near him.

Will looked up most pregnantly, probably because he was pregnant. Don't question my science.

"go away whores. go have your periods somewhere else." al said

"WOW NO WE ARE THE MENSTRUAL PALS. MENSTRUATION POWERS, ACTIVATE!" THEY BOTH SCREAMED AT THE SAME TIME. THEN THEY LEAPT AT AL AND WILL!

"CARRERA, AL! ANTES DE QUE CUBREN LOS EEUU EN SANGRE!"


	5. Chapter 5

al leapt in front of will, and the menstrual pals crashed on top of him. he threw them off and stuck his cock in christina's mouth.

"AL STOP YOURE GOING TO GET AN STD! CHRISTINA IS A CRUSTY OLD WHORE!" WILL SCREAMED

"FUCK YOU MAN-PANTIES!" CHRISTINA YELLED BACK, BUT SHE STILL HAD AL'S ENORMOUS HORSE DICK IN HER MOUTH SO IT SOUNDED LIKE "FULK U MAN-PANTHIS!"

THEN FOUR RAN IN AND BEGAN SINGING A SOULFUL BALLAD ABOUT ERIC'S BALLS. ERIC'S RAPED SOUL EMERGED FROM HELL AND ATE HIM BEFORE BEING SUCKED BACK IN BY SATAN.

Will rubbed orange peels all over his nipples as he watched Four's demise. "Wow that was sexy" he said.

al was still forcing christina to give him infinite blowjobs. then uriah popped out of the hole in the ceiling.

"YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE THIS IS THE PORN ROOM." URIAH SAID.

"FUCK YEAH WE CAN BE IN HERE." TRIS CRIED, LEAPING ONTO URIAH AND STABBING HIM IN THE BUTTHOLE WITH A 75 INCH KATANA SWORD MADE FROM HER VAGINAL SECRETIONS.

"sTOP ACTING LIKE YOUR EVEN ALIVE TRIS." CHRISTINA SCREAMED, PULLING AWAY FROM AL AFTER SWALLOWING HIS CUM FOR THE 595TH TIME! then she drank all of uriah's blood out of his butthole wound.

"oh my goD TRIS AND CHRISTINA, YOU KILLED URIAAH!" WILL SCREAMED.

TRIS SCREAMED LOUDER. "LETS ALL GO TO POPEYES AND FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED."


	6. Chapter 6

SO THEN AL, WILL, TRIS, AND CHRISTINA WENT TO POPEYES.

"WHAT WOULD YOU BITCHES LIKE TODAY. OH WAIT. YOURE ALL TRANSPARENT. WE DONT SERVE GHOSTS HERE!" THE CASHIER SAID.

"heil hitler!" tris said

Then Christina leapt onto the cashier and shoved HIM into her big meaty black girl period vagina. then she laughed maniacally.

"PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS!" SHE LAUGHED.

"lol how absurd" al said. then he took a random child in the restaurant and shoved it up tris's asshole.

THEN THE COPS CAME.

"EVERYONE PUT YO HANDS UP. YALL ARE UNDER ARREST." SAID A BALD COP.

"OH MY GOD" WILL SCREAMED. "Adeja para salir de aquí antes de que nos envían a la cárcel a ser violada por un grupo de individuos grandes negras gordas con penes gigantes, Al!"

SO THEY BOTH RAN AWAY. BUT BEOFRE THEY COULD LEAVE THE RESTAURANT, ALL THE COPS DIED. URIAH'S GHOST CAME IN.

"YAY URIAH SAVED THE DAY!" TRIS SHOUTED. AL AND WILL CAME BACK. CHRISTINA GROWLED LIKE A ZOMBIE AND LEAPT ON URIAH AND KILLED HIM AGAIN.

"oh my god christina u killed uriah in the afterlife! wtf!" will shouted.

then they all ate chicken and went back to dauntless.


	7. Chapter 7

once they got back to the dauntless compound, they realized nobody was even there.

"wtf where is everybody." christina said

drew came out of the tattoo parlor, obviously high as fuck, with a joint still in his mouth.

"lol we're all having an orgy in there. i just got a nice cock in me." he said.

"OH MY GOD YES." AL DRAGGED WILL INTO THE THE TATTOO PARLOR.

"drew youre gay?" tris asked.

"no, peter told me to go ride the biggest dick i could find. so i did."

"what's even your deal with him?"

"he has a big cock i want to suck someday."

nobody saw any flaw in seeing drew as a TRUE AND HONEST gaybian.

christina and tris got bored of standing there watching drew smoke his joint and went into the tattoo parlor.

will and al were covered in cum and all of the men in dauntless were having a giant circle jerk around them.

"oh my god that is so hot." drew said. then he slid in next to max and started to masturbate.

"yes yes. penises are so great." will said, taking a big load in the face.

jeanine slinked into the room.

"come suck my pussy gentlemen." she said.

"LOL FUCK YOU EVERYONE IN DAUNTLESS IS GAY NOW." MAX SAID.

"but but i'm not gay..." drew said. peter backhanded him.

"HMM YES STRAIGHT MEN TOTALLY TRY TO TOUCH MY COCK WHEN THEY THINK I'M ASLEEP." PETER SCREAMED.

THEN PETER RAN AT JEANINE.

THEN HE ATE HER OUT.

"OH MY GOD THIS DAUNTLESS CREATURE IS MY NEW SEXY BEAST. COME HERE AND TELL ME YOUR NAME YOU AMAZING SEX GOD." JEANINE SCREAMED.

"I AM PETER, THE FAMED SEX GOD OF THE ERUDITE AND THE DAUNTLESS, AS CROWNED BY THIS LOVELY WOMAN. IT IS AN HONOR TO SUCK MY DICK, MEN AND WOMEN OF ALL AGES." PETER SAID.

"may i suck your dick" drew said

"FUCK YOU PEASANT I AM A SEX GOD." PETER SAID. THEN HE LET DREW SUCK HIS DICK ANYWAY.

al and will came out of the circlejerk covered in cum. they licked it off of each other's bodies.

"mm best day ever." will said. then christina slit her wrists.

"christina dont slit your wrists." tris said. then christina healed herself because she's a ghost.

"ok sorry tris. what if..."

"WE ALL WENT TO WALMART." CHRISTINA SAID.

"OH MY GOD THATS A GREAT PLAN." TRIS SAID.

"but i dont want to go to walmart" al said. "i want to stay here and suck big dicks with will."

"yeah you dumb bitches. go enjoy having ur ugly tits and vaginas somewhere else." will said. then they walked away, speaking spanish.

"Vamos a ir a robar malezas de Drew. Eso sería hilarante, hombre. Entonces lo podríamos violarla cuando nos atrapó!" will said.

"OH MY GOD WILL" AL SCREAMED HAPPILY. THEN HE GRABBED WILL BY THE ASS AND THEY FLEW AWAY.

"NOT SO FAST" TRIS SAID. SHE LAUNCHED BLOOD CLOTS OUT OF HER VAGINA LIKE SPIDERMAN AND PULLED THEM BACK.

"WE'RE GOING TO WALMART WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" THEN THEY KIDNAPPED AL AND WILL AND DRAGGED THEM TO WALMART.


	8. Chapter 8

"YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPED US AND DRAGGED US TO WALMART TRIS." will said

"YEAH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" AL SAID, SHOPLIFTING A BUNCH OF DILDOS. THEN HE ATE A BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF RAMEN NOODLES.

"AL YOU ARE SO FAT." CHRISTINA SCREAMED.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME EAT MY RIDICULOUSLY LARGE AMOUNT OF RAMEN." HE SHRIEKED BACK. WILL STARTED MASTURBATING.

"I HAVE A RAMEN NOODLE FETISH. DONT JUDGE. ITS MY ALTERNATE SEXUALITY!" WILL SCREAMED.

"MAN I SURE FUCKIN LOVE SOME GOOD OLD RAMEN NOODLES." TRIS SAID. THEN SHE STOLE SOME OF AL'S RAMEN.

"OH MY GOD TRIS THOSE ARE MY RAMEN NOODLES!" AL STOLE THEM BACK.

At this moment, a confused shopper came into the aisle to see a bunch of high time traveler ghosts dressed in all black, eating tons of ramen, and surrounded by dildos. He shot himself in the head because he thought he had schizophrenia.

THEN TRIS SAW THE TOOTHBRUSHES.

"LOOK AT THIS I AM GOING TO HAVE A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE." TRIS SAaid. then shE BEGAN BRUSHING HER TEETH IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART AND AL WATCHED HER, STILL EATING NOODLES. WILL AND CHRISTINA CHEERED HER ON.

"OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK AT THIS THING" WILL SAID. HE TOOK A COPY OF DIVERGENT OFF OF A SHELF AND TOOK A BITE OUT OF IT. "HMM TASTES SPICY"

CHRISTINA RAN UP TO HIM. "LOOK AT THIS! IT'S SO WEIRD I CANT EVEN READ IT." SHE HANDED HIM A PLAYBOY.

"OH THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING." THEN WILL ATE THE PLAYBOY. CHRISTINA'S JAW DROPPED.

"SORRY PREGNANCY CRAVINGS." WILL SAID. HE THEN BROKE A JAR OF PICKLES AND DRANK ALL THE JUICE. MEANWHILE AL WAS STILL EATING RAMEN. THE MANAGER CAME INTO THE AISLE.

"EXCUSE ME YOU GUYS NEED TO LEAVE YOURE RAVAGING MY WALMART!" SHE SAID.

"FUCK THE POLICE! CHARLIE SCENE 2PAC 4 LYFE!" TRIS SHOUTED. THEN SHE SHOVED A FRYING PAN INTO HER BOOTYHOLE. THE MANAGER WAS SO SCARED THAT SHE RAN AWAY BUT SHE WAS TOO SLOW AND TRIS ZAPPED HER WITH HER LASER VISION, REDUCING HER TO A PILE OF DUST.

"YAY GO TRIS!" EVERYONE SHOUTED. THEN WILL FELL TO THE GROUND.

"OH MY GOD IM GIVING BIRTH" WILL SCREAMED


	9. Chapter 9

EVERYONE IGNORED WILL EXCEPT AL.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU VAGINAMONSTERS COME HELP ME WILL IS HAVING MY BABY" AL SCREAMED

CHRISTINA STOOD BY A FISH TANK. SHE GRABBED OUT A GOLDFISH.

"OH BOY LOOK AT THIS FISH HE'S SQUIRMING." CHRISTINA STUFFED THE FISH IN HER VAGINA SO IT WOULDN'T DIE. IT SWAM AROUND IN HER PERIOD HAPPILY.

SUDDENLY WILL GAVE BIRTH TO NATALIE PORTMAN.

"oh my god will look at it it's beautiful. our natalie portman child is beautiful." al said. then natalie portman flew away.

al grabbed will. "LOOK AT IT THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WE WERE PARENTS FOR 3.508 SECONDS WILL. WE ARE SO MUCH CLOSER NOW THAT YOU HATCHED THAT FROM YOUR ASSHOLE."

"Will you two shut the fuck up" tris said. she was reading 50 shades of grey.

"never!" al said. "man this walmart sucks."

four re emerged from hell.

"excuse me you homosexuals. it is time for the annual pickle races." four said.

"OH MY GOD NOT THE ANNUAL PICKLE RACES" WILL SCREAMED IN HORROR.

then freddie mercury ran around walmart naked. everyone collapsed with an epic nosebleed. al died of blood loss.

"OH NO AL YO ARE DEAD!" TRIS SCREAMED. "NOT LIKE I CARE!" SHE FLOATED AROUND WALMART ON A MAGICAL ACCORDION SANDWICH. "I DONT CARE I LOVE IT!"

Four growled like a fuckin quickscoper and reviveded Al.

"thank u so much four. u saved me so will and natalie portman and i can be a family. how can i repay u!"

"suck my muscular 50 inch cock. it's 25 inches around and im 100% not lying." four said. tris leapt on him.

"excuse me u fucker i want that mmhm dont cha wish ur girlfriend was hot like me" tris screamed. then she did the epic sexual rain dance and humped four's thigh. "dont chaaaaaa"

meanwhile christina played with her new vagina roommate.

"so hello there my new roommate bob what do u like to do. oh you like to lick pussy? i do too. your so cool bob." christina said, holding a conversation with her NEW BAE.

Natalie portman flew back to her parents.

"hi there daddy. can u teach me how to put frying pans in my bootyhole like auntie tris." she asked al.

"k" al said. then he taught her how.

"AAAAAALLLLLL!1" will screamed. "youre a bad influence on natalie portman!"

"sorry baby." al said. then they had sex right in front of everyone. four made a dying whale noise and went back to hell. "DONT FORGET ABOUT THE PICKLE RACE IT'S IN 2 HOURS!" he screamed.

"well team. we need to prepare to win this pickle race!" tris said.


	10. Chapter 10

so al and will grabbed the biggest pickle they could find and put a motor in it. natalie portman put on wheels and tris and christina made it fucking awesome by drawing dicks and flames on the sides with a sharpie.

"lets go win a motherfuckin PICKLE RACE BITCHES!" tris screamed. so they all got in their pickle and drove to the racetrack.

there were only 2 other pickles at the race, which meant everyone had to take eric's dick in their asshole because they did not participate.

eric was in a hellpickle with four. metal blasted from the speakers they glued to the side.

"bitches were gona win this racE!" eric screamed. four made monkey noises and stuck his dick in the exhaust pipe.

"OKAY IS TIME TO START THE PICKLE RACES OF DAUNTLESS." MAX SAID. HE TOOK A BIG STICK WITH PANTIES TIED TO THE END AND HELD IT UP.

"WHEN I SAY GO, I WILL WAVE THE PANTY FLAG AND U GUYS CAN START KILLING AND RAPING EACH OTHER FOR OUR AMUSEMENT I MEAN RACING PICKLES." MAX SAID. THEN HE DIED OF A HEART ATTACK.

"oh shit we need a new announcer" tris said.

"I AM THAT ANNOUNCER YOU FAGGOTS AINT GOT NOTHIN ON MY NINJA SKILLS" WILL SAID. THEN HE TOOK THE FLAG.

"UNO" WILL SAID

"DOS" WILL SAID  
"TRES" WILL SAID

"IR!" WILL SAID, AND HE WAVED THE PANTY FLAG. BUT ONLY TRIS'S PICKLE MOVED, SPEEDING RAPIDLY AWAY WITH TRIS, CHRISTINA, NATALIE PORTMAN, AND AL INSIDE. NOBODY HAD UNDERSTOOD WILL BECAUSE HE SPOKE SPANISH!

LYNN AND ERIC TOOK OFF AFTER TRIS BUT THEY WERE TOO SLOW AND DECIDED TO GIVE UP AND HAVE SEX ON THE TRACK.

"OHSHITTRISLOOKOUT!" AL SCREAMED. BUT THEY HIT LYNN AND ERIC AND CRUSHED THEM BOTH TO DEATH.

"AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A WINNER!" WILL SHOUTED.

in the audience, drew looked at a little girl.

"hey girl u want this weed" he said.

"wat" the girl said

drew ate her alive.

WILL AND AL AND TRIS AND CHRISTINA AND NATALIE PORTMAN TOOK THEIR PRIZE.

"OH MY GOD!" TRIS SCREAMED. "IT'S THE GOLDEN DILDO OF POWER!"


	11. Chapter 11

TRIS GRABBED THE GOLDEN DILDO OF POWER AND STARTED DOING FLIPS AND SHIT BECAUSE SHE OBTAINED HER LIFE GOAL.

"YEAAAAAHHHHHh GO TRIS" AL SCREAMED. "fucking bitch"

"HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" ERIC SAID AS HE GOT UP OFF THE TRACK. HE SURVIVED THE IMPACT. BUT AS HE LEAPT FOR WILL TO RAPE HIS BOOTY, SATAN SUCKED HIM BACK INTO HELL.

"lol no big deal" will said, watching eric's poor soul fade. "buh bye"

Four got up out of the wreck and went to Spain and fucked a bunch of girls. tris was SO SADDENED.

al walked up to depressed tris.

"aww four cheated on you with a bunch of ugly spanish girls"

"yeah" tris said

"that sucks" al said

"yeah. thanks for being such a great friend"

al laffed. "your welcome. now hows about i get to see those titties"

"no"

"but im such a nice guy? you know. im really nice. and i dont cheat on u with spanish girls. also my penis is 20 yards long"

tris sighed and did her mate dance which consisted of dancing like a $5 prostitute with a rainstick and then doing the soulja boy crank dat on will's head

"i cant believe i fucking put up with this" will said as tris's giant genitals spilled out all over his sexy blond white boy 'fro and made it all shaggy and gross

"ok i am freddie mercury and im ready to help you with your problems." freddie mercury said.

natalie portman started to cry and ran to dr phil i mean freddie mercury. "everybody calls me a shit baby at school. what does that mean dr mercury"

freddie mercury sighed and danced to attract his own mate before answering natalie portman's question.

"it means you were hatched from an asshole." he said. natalie portman ran to her parents.

"MOM DAD WAS I HATCHED FROM AN ASSHOLE AND HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE" SHE SAID

"hmm ok" al said "sometimes when ppl love each other they netflix and chill while rubbing their most disgusting parts together and boom there comes a baby. except when ur mom and i did it well ur mom has a penis so boom you came out of his butthole."

will nodded. "want to watch us do the netflix and chill sex"

natalie portman screamed. "OH MY GOD YES"

so al and will had netflix and chill sex in front of everyone. freddie mercury smiled and began to talk to christina.

"so bae u got problems" freddie mercury asked

"yeah i do"

"wut problems"

"senpai wont fucking notice my titties he's too busy taking the d"

"i think u should take dis and all ur problems will go away" freddie mercury handed christina a magic mushroom. she ate it.

"WOOOOOOOAHHHHHH" christina said. she stole tris's golden dildo and ran away!

"oh no! christina!" tris screamed and ran after her.


	12. Chapter 12

TRIS CAUGHT CHRISTINA.

"wow wtf why did you do that christina"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKIN BITCH! NOW GIVE ME A TANK." CHRISTINA SHOUTED. CALEB FLEW IN FROM ERUDITE.

"HEY FUCKERS!" CALEB SHOUTED.

AL AND WILL PUSHED A TANK TO CHRISTINA.

"WTF DO YOU WANT YOU FUCKIN KNOW-IT-ALL MANWHORE?" AL ASKED. FREDDIE MERCURY AND NATALIE PORTMAN STARED ON.

OH SHIT. CALEB LOST IT.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKIN SAY YOU FUCKHOLE?!" CALEB SCREAMED, KICKING AL IN THE BALLS LIKE A NINJA. THEN HE WALTZED AWAY.

"somebody has anger issues" freddie mercury said. he kicked a dent in christina's tank and did barrel rolls until he came to south america.

"whoo those fuckers were gettin on my nerves" freddie mercury said. then he went and bought a coconut from a street vendor and stayed in a cheap hotel to watch the walking dead and masturbate to pictures of shawn mendes and austin mahone.

CHRISTINA LAUGHED AT EVERYONE AS SHE CLIMBED INTO THE TANK. "eVERYBODY GET IN"

Al, Will, Tris, and Natalie Portman got into Christina's tank. Caleb looked on in envy.

"YOU FUCKERS FORGOT ME"

"Bye!" Will shouted, throwing a ham and two quarters at Caleb, who became an Indian beggar and scarfed the ham down like a rat.

Tris looked around and there was a fUCKING RADIO IN THE TANK.

"FUCK CHRISTINA THERE IS A RADIO? HOLY SHIT THIS IS GREAT." TRIS TURNED IT ON AND IT PLAYED JUSTIN BIEBER. AL SMASHED THE RADIO WITH A HAMMER.

"no. JUST FUCKING NO."

christina kept driving the tank and eventually saw eric in the middle of the woods.

"ERIC GET OUT OF THE WAY" everyone screamed.

"nonsense. im undead. ur fuckin tank cant kill me." eric said.

"ok then u give me no choice." christina said. then she drove the tank into eric's ass. he screamed in agony as it poked into his intestines.

"CHRISTINA STOP! HE'LL MAKE US ALL FACTIONLESS!" al shouted. "not that i care, i mean... you can always have bacon, faction or no faction." he patted his belly and then started dancing around the tank like he was in high school musical.

tris grinned. then she felt something vibrate in her pocket. she picked it up.

"fuck guys i have a message from four. FUCK YOU FOUR!" SHE THREW HER PHONE OUT THE TOP OF THE TANK AND IT FELL ON ERIC'S HEAD. christina backed out of eric's ass, the entire tank covered in shit. eric caught the phone and looked at it.

"ooh, a message from four. just in time, gotta have someone finish me off." he texted four, but four thought he was tris and came running to fuck her in the butt like eric had asked him to do.

christina and her tank drove away as four came to find eric with a stretched out asshole and tris's iphone.

"dude where the fuck is tris. did you put her in your butt again?"

"uh nope. why the hell do you want tris when you have me?!" eric batted his eyelashes and rubbed four's junk.

christina got on the road and an asshole in a prius cut her off. she screamed like a banshee and cried uncontrollably.

"its ok girl i got this." will said.

"...senpai, no... please dont hurt yourself" christina said like an ANIME BABE.

will ran over the prius and chugged along like a fucking beast.

"YEAH GO WILL! someone deserves douchebag murder sex" al said. then they had sex while christina took the controls. natalie portman ate scrap metal from the prius in the back of the tank.

christina saw a town in the distance. she started screaming uncontrollably. "OH MY GOD GUYS IT HAS A TARGET!"


	13. Chapter 13

SO THeY ALL WENT 2 TARGET AND STOLE SOME TANK FUEL WHICH TARGET HAS FOR SOME REASON. TARGET CANT SURVIVE IN CANADA BUT IT CARRIES FUEL FOR FUCKING TANKS. MAKES SENSE I GUESS.

will and tris were standing next to the dairy case having a heated debate about swiss cheese when suddenly natalie portman ran up to them, crying her head off.

"aw bby whats teh problem" tris asked, PUNCHING WILL IN THE FACE.

"christina just murdered half the employees and i think al is probably rolling around in a pile of diapers and laser pointers somewhere near our general location" she replied.

tris could hear the distant shrieks of al as he orgasmed repeatedly into a box of sewing needles.

"well al is probably fine" will said. "but christina MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE SHE TURNS INTO PETER"

tris coughed up a used purple shower loofah and sighed deeply. "but seriously will she's already killed over 20 people at this point and will probably continue to kill more until she dies."

"thats how we know shes healthy" will said as he grabbed the loofah, opened up the glass door, and began to clean the milk cartons with tris's stomach acid, which was dripping off of the loofah.

"true, true" tris replied. so they went to find christina. she had killed everyone but the manager by that point, who was chained up by the registers.

"TIME TO SUCK MY FUCKIN LADY NUTS BITCH!" christina screamed as she beat the manager's bald-ass head in with a metal lawn chair.

"NO CHRISTINA STOP THAT NOW!" natalie portman shouted, landing on christina, who snapped out of her psychosis.

"oh did i kill people again" christina said.

"yeah" will said "they didnt matter though lol target employees suck dick for $5"

"just like you, manwhore" tris commented

"BURNED!" natalie portman and christina said at the same time. will hung his head in shame.

"GUYS I FOUND THIS REALLY COOL THING! IT FITS IN MY PEEHOLE" al screamed, running out from behind an aisle. his enormous dick was sticking out of his pants with a baseball bat shoved up his urethra.

"that's hot!" christina, tris, will, and natalie portman shouted at the same time. then they all ran into the tank to have sex.

"Soy un amante gentil que incorpora bates de béisbol en hacer el amor!" al shouted in glee.


	14. Chapter 14

"YEEEAH!" al shouted as everybody came all over the inside of the tank.

"where do all you fucking useless slacker bitchfuckers want to go next" christina asked, wiping some vaginal secretions off of the tank's controls.

"hmm idk will where should we go" tris asked.

"i think we should totes go to DISNEYWURL" will said

"fuck yeah!" everyone shouted. so christina began to drive the 1160 miles to disneyworld. tris pulled out a bagel.

"A JOLLY GOOD BAGEL!" TORI SCREAMED, COMING OUT OF NOWHERE. she snatched the bagel and stuffed it into her vagina.

"WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH STEALING PEOPLE'S BAGELS" al shouted

tris sighed. "she's crazy, cut her some slack"

natalie portman grabbed a hockey stick and drove it through tori's skull. "well shes not crazy anymore"

tris began to cry. "she was my bff. she like... tested me and shit! we were bffs forever!"

suddenly the tank came to a halt, throwing everyone forward a few feet.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY YOU SALTY LITTLE CUNT" christina screamed into tris's face

"that u were my bff and tori is an ugly slut?"

"ok good!" christina said, hopping back to the controls with a huge grin.

so al, will, natalie portman, and tris started a campfire in the tank and began to roast tori's limbs for dinner.

the tank came to a stop again. "uhm guys we have a problem" christina said.

will climbed the ladder and came out the top of the tank.

THEY WERE IN A VILLAGE, SURROUNDED BY BURROS, STRAY DOGS, AND MEXICAN PEASANTS.

"this is no problem" will said. "we're in mexico!"

"FUCK YEAH! i mean MIERDA SI!" al shouted.

so they both left the tank and went to talk to the mexicans.

"No era nuestra intención de venir aquí. Ninguna manera de Chicago o la Florida? No importa cuál," will said. "Si nos ayudas vamos a permitir que usted tiene nuestras mujeres!"

the mexicans laughed and smiled and picked up the tank. they lifted it above their heads and began to carry it as will and al climbed in.

"ok so problem solved. we dont let christina drive ever again" al said.

"fuck you" christina said.

so the mexicans carried the tank over the ocean with their magic powers that all mexicans have and made it to disneyworld.

"guys we're at disneyworld!" natalie portman shouted.

"that didnt take long" tris commented as she got out. the mexicans eyed her hungrily.

"OKAY WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" will shouted. he hit a lever from inside the tank, and all the mexicans were ground up into a bloody puddle of torn flesh and crushed bones by the tank's tracks and wheels.

"why were they looking at me like that" tris said as everyone else got out, stepping into the bloody mess.

"uhh..." al said "we kinda promised your virginity to them in exchange for them taking us here"

"YOU TWO ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!" christina screamed.

"i know we are" will said. "but we're at disneyworld so fuck intelligence we dont need it to have a good time"

JUST THEN, DISNEYWORLD BLEW UP.

"wow that was anticlimactic" natalie portman said as they got back in the tank and went to chicago again.

"tru" tris said.


	15. Chapter 15

so they were back in chicago and as they came to the fence, a group of amity stood in front of their tank.

"we cant move because of these motherfuckers!" christina shouted, chugging her mountain dew and popping in some doritos. "will go yell at them"

will left, and tris heard him yelling obscenities at everyone.

"i better follow him" tris sighed, hopping up the ladder and peeking out.

all of the amity were eating tori's barbequed body parts happily. will had introduced them to the taste of human flesh and now led an army of bloodthirsty amity.

"HAHAHAHA I COULD DO SO MUCH WITH THIS POWER" will shouted.

"NO WILL DONT TURN EVIL!" al shouted back. but it was too late. eric's soul had corrupted will.

"ah fuck dont make me shoot u AGAIN will" tris groaned. "it was really inconvenient the last time"

christina ran out of the tank. "GUYS HOLD ON I KNOW THE MAGIC WORDS!" she grabbed will and held him in place while she stared awkwardly into his evil red eyes.

"you could stop at five or six stores..." she said. will screamed like a maniac. "or just one."

"ok im ok now guise!" will said. but something ethereal floated from his nostrils. it was eric's soul!

"I banish u to narnia!" natalie portman shouted, sacrificing herself bravely for everyone else.

"OUR DAUGHTER!" al and will screamed simultaneously. but it was too late. while eric had been banished to narnia, natalie portman was almost dead. al kneeled at her side.

"we're so sorry... but rest easy knowing that i loved you in black swan!"

natalie portman died.

christina facepalmed. "al, really? u chose to end it on that?!"

will grunted. "yeah well sorry, she made black swan like the best movie ever!"

"ok whatever guys we need to avenge al and will's daughter!" tris shouted. everyone nodded.

the rabid amity hellbeasts all dashed into the tank, filling it up with just enough space left for tris, al, will, and christina. just then, drew, molly, and peter wandered by, smoking the biggest blunts anyone had ever seen.

"holy fuck guys, where'd you get all that weed?" christina asked.

molly laughed. "you fucking retard, it's 4/20! there's weed everywhere!" drew and peter laughed so hard that they vomited, choked on their own vomit, and died. molly revived them with her powers.

"WAIT MOLLY CAN U SAVE OUR DAUGHTER NATALIE PORTMAN" al asked

"only if u get me the dankest weed in all of chicago. it's jeanine's secret stash." molly said. "u can find it in erudite headquarters, probably hidden in caleb's butt or something."

"okay, this is where i draw the line. i am not breaking into erudite and searching my brother's butt for weed to resurrect natalie portman from the dead," tris said.

"TRIS DO YOU WANT TO SAVE AL AND WILL'S FAMILY DYNAMIC OR NOT?!" christina shouted.

"ok so yall better get the fuck over there because drew just finished his blunt and we dont wanna wait any longer for the good reefer!" peter shouted, brandishing his joint as a weapon.

"unnnngh fine! we'll go. christina, get the fuck in the tank."

so they left. the moment that tris's tank was out of sight, molly, drew, and peter began to laugh so loudly that they physically couldnt contain themselves.

"there's no weed there, is there, molly?" drew asked.

"lol no! theyll get their asses royally kicked and that means more weed for us on 4/20!" molly replied. she began to snort and snorted so hard that she inverted time and went to another dimension.

"aw fuck not this shit again" drew said. "peter we need to go rescue molly from the other dimension."

"ok get in the ROCKET SHIP" peter screamed, flailing his arms like noodles.

"WE HAVE A ROCKET SHIP?!" drew shouted.

peter jumped into the front seat of their awesome bitchin' rocket ship. "fuck yeah bro!"

"um should u really be driving this thing high?" drew asked. peter was too busy singing the lttle einsteins theme song to respond.

so off the two vehicles went, off on entirely different goals. will they succeed? tris probably wont since there isnt actually weed hidden deep inside her brother's rectal kingdom and she's going to have to go wrist deep up there for no reason. but molly gets lost in an alternate dimension about every thursday, so peter and drew's epic 4/20 adventure will probably end up ok. BUT CAN U BE SURE? CAN AL AND WILL SAVE NATALIE PORTMAN? WILL TRIS BE ABLE TO RETRIEVE JEANINE'S SECRET STASH? WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS? ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED WHEN I BOTHER TO PULL MY KEYBOARD OUT OF MY ASS AND UPDATE YOLO

happy 4/20 everyone!


	16. Chapter 16

so christina drove the tank through chicago, running over the occasional factionless person, but nobody really cares about them so it doesnt matter. soon they reached erudite.

"what the fuck u guys doin here" some dude said. tris and christina climbed to the tank's opening. as he walked out into the light from the land of the glasses-wearing shadow amish-killers, tris recognized him as zeke.

"zeke when the fuck did you start working for erudite?" tris asked.

"WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIEND MURDERED MY FUCKING BROTHER WITH YOUR CANNIBALISM!" he replied. "also when jeanine promised me a pretty flower if i shot any people walking around _teehee_ "

al poked his head from the tank like a meerkat. zeke tried to shoot him. will was going to have none of this shit.

"ATTACK!" will shouted. the amity threw tris, al, and christina out of the way and a surge of potheads wearing yellow beat the shit out of zeke.

"HOLY FUCKANOCTOPUS GUYS JUST LET ME GO DONT KILL ME IM NOT A SCARECROW URRRRGH" zeke screamed. will narrowed his eyes.

"kill him" he ordered. his army bit zeke until he died. al, will, christina, and tris walked into erudite while the amity army ate zeke's battered corpse.

meanwhile peter and drew were flying around in the rocket. as they broke the sound barrier, the check engine light began to flash.

"PETER WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE GOING TO DIE" drew shouted. "THE CHECK ENGINE LIGHT IS ON AND WE'RE OVER 200K FEET INTO THE FUCKING ATMOSPHERE AND GOING SO FAST THAT WE JUST BROKE THE SOUND BARRIER WE ARE SO FUCKED"

"hurf hurf" peter said. then he coughed up a hairball. "culaak" he pushed the hairball in drew's eye and threw him off the rocket ship because he wasn't a racist. drew died a very long, painful death.

meanwhile will, christina, al, and tris finally made it into erudite. caleb confronted them.

"yoooo wtf u bitches doin in here. ur not in erudite" caleb said. tris shoved her hand wrist deep into his asshole, grabbing around for the weed. everyone screamed especially caleb because he was secretly into fisting.

"ok weed where are u" tris said. "ughghgh that BITCH lied to us!"

"much deceive" al said. "very lie" will said. "wow" christina said.

so they all walked out of erudite, tris's hand still buried in caleb's ass.

"TRIS! I DONT WANNA GOOOOO!" caleb howled

"stfu bitch" tris replied


	17. Chapter 17

so tris, caleb, al, will, and christina started walking back to where they'd last seen molly.

"god damn it why did molly do this to everyone?" tris asked.

"probably because she's a sadistic psychopath with no sense of right or wrong" christina replied. she looked around wearily before reaching into her pocket to reveal a cell phone.

al screamed "i detect high levels of basic bitch" but christina was too busy getting frappe on the starbucks app.

"wow guys!" christina shouted as she waddled along, her double cupped venti one pump caramel, two pump white mocha, two scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuccino with 2 shots poured over the top (cagna style) and caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream in hand. "turns out our franchise has gotten so terrible and strapped for ideas that ascendant is going to be a tv movie. probably miles teller's fault."

will flailed his arms. "has there ever been a movie miles teller was in that wasn't terrible?" he slapped christina in the vagina before she could bring up the imdb page for whiplash or the spectacular now.

al suddenly screamed again. "HOLY SHIT GUYS LOOK THERE'S PETER!"

"are yall motherfuckers here about the weed you didnt find in erudite" peter said, rage dripping down his body. oh wait that was melted ice cream. where the fuck did peter get ice cream?

"of course we are" tris answered. "molly lied to us."

peter grunted. "well molly is trapped in another dimension. drew inexplicably collapsed and died before we could rescue her." he held out drew's stuffed corpse. "i found a good taxidermist, though."

"sorry for ur loss" tris said. peter laughed like a goat.

"i killed mufasa. and also drew" peter said.

caleb spoke up. "damn bro shit just got dark"

"GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE BROTHER OF DARK ALIGNMENTS!" tris shouted, cutting him off.

at this point, al and will were so bored that they started to speak spanish while constructing a birdhouse from their own skin, and christina was on a caffeine and sugar high from her latest starbucks beverage so she had run all the way to milwaukee and back eighty-four times.

"so dude if u wanna go find molly, go at it. i dont really care" peter said. "you can try my rocket ship if you want."

"ok guys! we are going to GET REVENGE ON MOLLY THAT MOTHERFUCKING BITCH" al, christina, tris, and will shouted in unison.

they all piled into peter's rocket ship. peter stayed outside.

"are you and drew coming with us?" tris asked.

peter began to make out with his stuffed dead drew like the necrophile he was. "nope yall go ahead, i think im gonna kick it with my gurl today"

"i think thats from a kanye west song" al mused as the rocket ship took off.

but tris didn't know how to drive a rocket ship.

"FUCK SHIT FUCK MOTHERFUCK GAY BITCH GOD FUCKING ASSDONKEY DAMN THIS BASTARD FAG TO HELL JESUS FUCKING PUSSY NIGGER CHRIST" tris screamed.

"abnegation is beautiful" will said. everyone agreed.

then something epic happened. drew's soul took over the rocket ship.

and immediately crashed it. tris, al, will, caleb, and christina bounced to peter's feet.

"hilarious. now you fuckwads are my slaves because hey youre never gonna find molly without me" peter said. drew nodded even though he was a dead taxidermy carcass.


	18. Chapter 18

"aaaa" tris screeched like a mutated vulture with downs.

after the rocket ship combusted they had been walking around the fence in loopy circles for at least 6 hours.

"aaaa peter you fucker you said youd help us KILL MOLLY BUT YOUR NOT DOING SHIT AKSJFJRUHEHRHRHTU" christina screamed. she was so angry that she popped a boner despite not even having a penis.

obviously she raped will with it while al watched in a combination of fear and admiration.

peter clutched drew's corpse tighter to his side like a fucked up security blanket and started to convulse while walking probably from the copious amounts of cocaine cut with his grandmother's ashes he snorted beforehand.

"trust me we will find molly really soon and by soon i mean probably never"

then tris punched a hole in caleb's forehead for no particular reason.

"WTF WAS THAT EVEN FOR" caleb screamed

"your existence is an insult to everyone who has ever lived" tris replied.

"OH SHIT HOMIE U JUS GOT BURNED" christina screamed. will sobbed beneath her massive newly sprouted dick as she continued to cram it up his butt from behind.

"wait guys everyone STOP NOW"

al was waving at a peculiar pile of newspapers.

"what this" he asked.

peter shoved his way to the front of the group. rigor mortis had set in to drew's rotting badly taxidermied corpse and his stiff arm bumped tris's ribcage, bruising her horribly.

"OK IM DONE" tris screeched. she kicked drew into the stratosphere. peter started dancing around in circles like a flaming homosexual.

"IM FREE OF THE CURSE AAYAYAA" peter yelled "AYAYAYAYAYA USED CONDOMS AYAYAYAYAYYA TAKE ME AWAY GOD"

but nothing happened.

"guess ur goin to hell" caleb said

"shut up caleb no one cares" everyone else said in unison

"GUYYYYS" al whined like the lil bitch he was. "this is important"

peter examined what he had found.

"looks like a nest of the rare species mollius atwoodus. we're getting close i can feel it in my pancreas"

"that isnt even a real animal u made that up" caleb protested before being bitchslapped in the penis by tris.

christina fell off will, who fist pumped like a bro in pure relief at being freed from his rapist, and scampered over to the newspapers.

"why does she nest in newspapers" christina asked

"penis envy" peter replied. tris chuckled.

just then molly returned from the hellscape outside the fence to lay her eggs.

"MOLLY YOU LITTLE WHORE" tris screamed. she punched molly out and then began to violate her genitals with a mop.

"shit" peter said "i honestly thought the nest was just a coincidence and she was still trapped in that other dimension"

"let me get this straight," will said. "you werent bullshitting when you said she was in another dimension, so you took us to look around a place that IS NOT ANOTHER FUCKING DIMENSION YOU JERKASS"

"lol trolled" peter said


	19. Chapter 19

miles away, tris's parents heard molly's agonized screams as she begged god for death and realized who was responsible.

"NATALIE I THOUGHT WE RAISED HER RIGHT" tris's dad screeched like a gay pterodactyl or however the fuck you spell that shit

"calm down. heres some bread you can go feed the homeless" tris's mom said. she handed her husband a bag of bread crumbs. his eyes lit up.

"OMG THANKS!" he screamed with glee, hands waving in the air like a muppet.

he ran outside to throw chunks of bread at edward and myra.

"yum yum thanks papi" edward said, pecking the bread pieces off the ground. myra said nothing because if i hadn't brought her up no one would even remember that she existed.

meanwhile tris was still kicking the shit out of molly.

"should we stop her" al asked no one in particular. "i think we can just ask her how to get my daughter back now"

"rEEEEEEEEE YOU FAT LESBIAN TAKE THIS" tris screamed as she kicked molly in the vagina.

"nah" peter said, grabbing for popcorn that had materialized out of nowhere. "its just getting good"

will sighed. "ok tris you can stop now we need her alive"

a vein popped out on tris's forehead, and she started squealing, but she stopped beating up molly's reproductive slot.

"oh my god that was SO HOT" molly said.

tris kicked her again, in the neck, this time.

molly's head detached itself from her body and began to roll away into chicago while loudly screeching the lyrics to ill make a man out of you from mulan.

"aw shit look what you did tris" will said. peter laughed his ass off next to him.

"NOW WE'RE NEVER GOING TO FIND MY DAUGHTER" al yelled as he collapsed, sobbing profusely like the lil bitch he was. will laid a hand on his shoulder.

"al," he said, tears brimming at his eyes and his face rapidly turning redder and redder. "i love you, and i need you to..."

"here it comes" peter says, nudging caleb. "i taught him this"

" **SHUT THE FUCK UP.** "

al started crying even more until christina kicked him in his man pussy and her foot got stuck in his dick head.

"OH MY GOD YES I MEAN AAAAAH NO MY DAUGHTER NATALIE PORTMAN IS GONE AND WE'LL NEVER FIND HER OHHHH YES CHRISTINA PUT IT IN ME MOMMY" al cried to the heavens.

"he sido traicionado" will remarked.

tris had finally calmed down.

"follow molly's head!" she screamed. "she's gonna get away!"

so they all ran back into chicago, except al, who dragged himself after them because he was a pussy ass bitch.

they'd tracked molly's head to the ferris wheel before someone leapt out in tris's path. everyone behind her bumped into her like dominos and they all fell onto al, who suffocated to death beneath the weight of all that ass in his face but was resurrected by the joy of getting so much ass in his face.

"WHOOOOO GOES THERE" the person said.

"me" said tris.

"WHOOOOO IS THIS ME YOU SPEAK OF" the person said back, in a tone that reminded everyone of spinach salads.

"CUT THE BULLSHIT" christina hissed.

"oh ok well um im fours mom evelyn and YOU'RE GOIN TO JAIL"

"wtf" caleb said from beneath peter's ass "we didnt do anything and plus jeanine says prison is a stupid idea that was eradicated for a reason"

"NO ONE CARES ABOUT JEANINE!" tris screamed in caleb's face, so loudly that she ruptured his eardrums and they began spurting blood everywhere. caleb's hair blew back.

"jesus christ tris" will said "calm yourself mmmhmmmm" he had taken up the role as the sassy black woman, stealing it right out of christina's grasp.

then evelyn hauled them all off to jail.


	20. Chapter 20

so they all got to jail and edward came out with therese and edgar who somehow materialized from the movie universe for some reason.

"who we got here papi" edward asked evelyn. he gestured his favorite butter knife defense spoon toward the captives.

then he saw peter.

"REEEEEEEEEEEE PETER YOU NIGGER" edward screamed

christina's jaw dropped.

"ONLY I SAY THAT WORD YOU BITCH" she screeched to the heavens as she jumped on edward and started clawing his back with her retractable fingernails. edward smacked her with his defense spoon and then pulled out her weave.

everyone gasped.

"oh no he didnt" will said, sounding increasingly more and more gayer than georgie and amar with every word.

"you dont pull OUT A BLACK GIRL'S WEAVEEEE" christina screamed. she yelled her battle cry and then killed edward with his own defense spoon.

"i am queen now" she said, holding it up like a sceptre "bow down BITCH"

"WELL THATS A MURDER CHARGE" evelyn said "FOR ALL OF YOU"

"wtf" tris said "we didnt even do anything its edward's fault for being a racist cripple"

"racism is wrong" peter said "just like equal rights for the darkies"

christina hissed at him like some gay ass cat but she was too entraced by her spoon to give a fuck.

evelyn bitch-slapped tris in the face with her pimp cane.

"WHOOOOO ELSE WANTS TO TRY ME" evelyn yelled

"uh nobody" al said

"THATS WHAT I THOUGHT. NOW GET IN YOUR CAGE"

edgar and therese shoved al, will, tris, christina, caleb, peter, and edward's defense spoon into a cage that appeared somehow i dont fucking know dont ask me

then they all walked away to go throw yogurt at a wall, leaving their prisoners unsupervised like a bunch of dumbfucks.

"how are we gonna get out" al asked

then will and caleb pushed the door open because erudite, motherfucker! everyone ran out.

"are you seriously telling me" peter said "that they didnt lock the door?"

"no," caleb said "im not telling u im showing u"

"CALEB NO DAD JOKES" tris screamed RIGHT IN HIS EAR. it was SO LOUD THAT HIS BRAIN EXPLODED AND HE BECAME STUPID.

"umm wat b gong on her yo" bitch caleb asked

"...I guess he's out of Erudite permanently now" Will said "welcome to your new home"

then everyone ran off

"w8 4 me guise" bitch caleb said and he ran after them

"okay, that was fucking pointless" tris said, swinging a snake around her head like a lasso. "whERE IS MOLLY HELP ME LOOK"

so christina and edward's defense spoon went to look around factionless territory, tris sat on her ass and did nothing, and bitch caleb and peter had a foursome with al and will.

"why am i the only one looking" christina asked

"because youre a coon" peter said, not bothering to look away from bitch caleb or stop pumping his dick up bitch calebs ass

al's weiner snaked through will's digestive system, popped out his mouth, and promptly smacked peter in the adam's apple.

"Quit being racist or i'll cut your cock off" al threatened.

everyone was so shocked that al had finally snapped that they didn't notice molly's head roll right through the middle of the foursome and continue its path to world domination.

"im not racist" peter said. then he pushed a hairball in al's eye because he wasn't a racist.

BUT AL HAD IMMUNITY FROM A PACT WITH A KFC MANAGER WHO WAS ALSO A TRANSSEXUAL WIZARD NAMED PAM.

HE LEAPT ON PETER AND CUT HIS COCK OFF.

blood SPURTED EVERYWHERE LIKE MANNEKIN PIS BUT WITH NO DICK AND BLOOD.

"JESUS" everyone except al, peter, and bitch caleb yelled. will choked on al's dick by accident but he was ok.

peter cried because he didnt have a dick anymore. then he decided to transistion because he had no dick.

"ok my name is petra" peter said "respect my pronouns or ill summon caitlyn jenner to salivate upon you"

"peter stop fucking around" tris said. she whipped his ass with the snake

"no" petra said as she put on a dress and high heels.

"peter please im sorry ill give your dick back you dont have to do this youre not transgender dude" al said

"no" petra said as she grew her hair out

"peter stop this is stupid" will said

"no" petra said as she started hormones

"p373r nu stahp plz i begng u" bitch caleb said

"no" petra said as she got breast implants

"peter you're fucking gay" christina said

"DIE IN HELL YOU LITTLE MONKEY BITCH" peter yelled, his massive boobies jiggling with rage. he sprung on christina!

just then, molly's head rolled back!

"MUAHAHAHA" she laughed. then she saw that peter was crossdressing and had L cup tits and quietly rolled away to drown herself in the lake.

"god DAMNNIT PETER" tris said


	21. Chapter 21

"hmm so what stupid pointless disjointed goal must we achieve now" christina asked tris

"i havent thought that far ahead" tris said. meanwhile bitch caleb was stumbling around in circles.

"EII mmm BIT3XH CLAEB" bitch caleb said

"does he keep getting dumber" peter asked

"probably" tris said as she sharpened a knife that came out of nowhere idk

"yeah we should probably put him out of his misery before something bad happens..." peter sighed and held bitch caleb down

"p3t3R pleez dnrt yhld meee downr" bitch caleb said kicking and screaming

"shhh" peter said "Also don't misgender me you faggot or i'm going to get TRIGGERED AS FUCK"

tris came up and stabbed bitch caleb in the neck. he died instantly and kevin spacey dressed as pennywise dragged his body into the sewer.

"shit" said al

"shit" said will

"shit" said christina

"shit" said peter

"good" said tris


End file.
